I’m writing this for the girls in my student ministry, but with hope to encourage whomever it reaches:
Dear Christian,
I know it seems crazy. Our sense of safety and security while using restrooms and dressing rooms in one of our favorite stores has been compromised by recent decisions made by Target in the name of inclusivity. “Welcome[ing] transgender team members and guests to use the restroom or fitting room facility that corresponds with their gender identity” instead of the gender God has created them to possess opens avenues for dangerous people (read: those who are predators, not those who identify as transgender) to pose as the opposite gender and potentially hurt or abuse others in public restrooms and fitting rooms.
In light of this,
Yes, I will make a personal choice to not frequent the bathrooms and fitting rooms of Target, simply as a safety precaution.
Yes, it is rather inconvenient.
Yes, I encourage you to do the same.
No, I am not angry, or boycotting Target or even surprised.
Why? That’s what I want to talk with you about.
Target has never stated or even pretended to have Christian values and morals at the foundation of their decisions as a company. They have always been a “secular” if you will, company. Why, then, are Christians surprised and angry when such a store holds to standards that are set in direct opposition to God’s ways (not to mention public safety)? Scripture makes it very clear that when we are children of darkness we walk in darkness (Ephesians 4:18-20) and when we are children of light we should choose to walk in the light (Ephesians 5:8). Those who are not of God, and the companies they run, are of the darkness. We shouldn’t expect them to look like those who are of the light. We wouldn’t expect an apple tree to produce oranges, and then rail at it when it failed our expectations. It just wouldn’t make sense. Sure, it’s much more comfortable when a company’s choices don’t step on our morality toes. But at their core, they are no different today than they were in the days, weeks and years before this decision.
Please don’t think I’m trying to silence you on this issue. Ephesians 5:11 calls us to “expose the unfruitful works of darkness.” If you feel so led, sign petitions, call Target, do what you must do to exercise the rights you hold as an American citizen to make your opinion heard. But this is what I request of you, because Scripture requires it of us:
“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”(Colossians 4:5-6) This means in social media posts, conversations among friends, and in your interaction with employees or management of Target.
Remember, we used to walk in the same darkness:
“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.”(Titus 3:3)
Until God stepped in and rescued us:
“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:4-7)
Hear it again:
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Eph 2:1-10)
I’ll speak plainly here. It is utterly ridiculous to expect those who are in darkness to display the same characteristics of those who have been saved by the grace and mercy of God and are empowered to walk in light by the Holy Spirit. Not only is it ridiculous, but even if, EVEN IF we could convince them to abide by the principles of light, it is pointless in the face of eternity: they are still without hope and without God in the world. Like I said before, we may feel more comfortable purchasing products from Target when they seem to resemble our values, but that is a false comfort.
What then shall we do?
Believer, I encourage you: do not be surprised, but wake up and understand that the world needs the gospel of Jesus. Many people need to experience a life-changing relationship with the Creator and Savior of the world that leads them to repentance. YOU may be the one God uses to bring the good news to them. But how will that be possible if we are spewing ugliness and unkindness toward them? They currently have no choice but to live in the foolishness of a darkened understanding (Ephesians 4:18).
Have compassion toward them and love them in the same way that Jesus has loved you: bringing you freedom from sin. John 8:31-32 says “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Until they know the truth of Jesus Christ, they have no freedom from the darkness of sin.
Cultural shifts like this will happen more often and in more terrible and diverse ways as the day of the Lord approaches. I want you to know how to respond as a disciple of Jesus. You are welcome to buy your products from whomever you choose, you are welcome to find alternate restroom accommodations or take your clothes home to try on. But, I hope you will consider using these moments not as opportunities to bash companies or clamor about petty inconveniences, but as reminders to pray for those in our communities, country and the world and to look for ways to shine the light of the glorious gospel of Jesus into the darkness enslaving our culture.
Dear Christian, when this darkened world acts like the darkened world it is, please don’t be shocked or scandalized. Simply continue to be the light YOU are called to be in Christ Jesus.
(Image from Target’s Website)
Update, 9:50am, 4/22- I am overwhelmed (in a good way!) by the conversation this post has started in the social media world. Thanks everyone, for engaging on this topic! I am grateful for those who have submitted comments on this post in the past few minutes. I want to honor your effort to make a comment by doing my best to respond to each of you in a timely manner. For this reason, I will be closing down comments temporarily until I can catch up. Thanks for understanding!
Dear Christians 
April 21, 2016 at 3:52 pm
So, while you continue shopping there, you are therefore saying you are okay with the choices they make. Even though they have those rights, it is your responsibility, as a Christian, to stand up for your faith & not just be a bystander when the world continues to conform to things of the devil. Attitudes like yours is exactly why the world keeps going down hill, too many Christians are afraid to stand up for what’s right, yet, just stand by & not say/do anything.
April 21, 2016 at 6:07 pm
Thanks for your perspective! I certainly stand firmly for what Scripture says is right and do not believe I’ve compromised my beliefs in any way through this post. Believers do not belong to this world, but are still sent into it to share the good news of the gospel (which leads to repentance). My point in this is not at all to stand by and do nothing (I encouraged those who feel led to take a respectful stand), but even more, to be actively engaging the world with the gospel message. In the world’s attempt to be “inclusive” they have wandered far from the safety of God’s design. To convince a person to merely change to operating within the safety of God’s design without them understanding the gospel of Jesus Christ, is not truly loving in light of eternity. In the end, if that person does not have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, it doesn’t matter what stance they took on bathrooms, they are condemned and with no hope. My hope is to encourage believers to remember and expect that this world will continue to become darker and darker, and as that happens to not lose focus on the mission we are given in Christ to make disciples of all nations, nor tarnish our witness by acting in an unchristlike way as we express our differences.
April 22, 2016 at 8:34 am
You will have more of an impact on this situation doing just as is stated in this post. Boycotting target and refusing to take part in shopping there will not shine the light of Jesus into this situation. Yes we are to stand firm in our faith, but if we are to pull ourselves away from things that do not match scripture, then shouldn’t we just find a way to get away from earth? We are called to be the salt of this world and we cannot be that if we avoid all circumstances that do not line up with our faith.
April 22, 2016 at 9:40 am
Thanks for your thoughts!
April 21, 2016 at 4:09 pm
This decision has NOTHING to do with Christian values or the fact that they are a “secular” company. This is about safety. Plain and simple.
April 21, 2016 at 6:14 pm
Thank you for your comment! This post was written to Christians to address their responses to this issue as believers, not debate whether this decision is a safety or moral issue. I 100% agree that this is unsafe! My encouragement is for Christians to consider how they speak and act as they are responding to it. Thanks!
April 21, 2016 at 5:43 pm
I left a comment earlier & it’s not here…. do you have them screened so you can select which ones show up??
April 21, 2016 at 6:21 pm
Yes, I do. Thanks for checking. I run this blog for teenage girls and their parents, so it is very important to me that inappropriate spam does not get posted on any of the posts on this blog. In attempt to guard those type of comments from appearing, I have my settings set to require approval before any comments appear. I responded to yours a bit ago, I believe! Thank you!
April 21, 2016 at 7:43 pm
You’re making huge assumptions in your article. You assume that because Target is allowing this that they are “of the darkness” as you put it. How do you know?? This could actually be their way of giving the Transgender community a safe place to shop. Maybe you shouldn’t assume that anyone trying to help the Transgender community is “of the darkness”. Maybe in fact they are trying to show people God’s love by accepting them as they are. You know, the way Jesus would have done it.
April 21, 2016 at 8:57 pm
Thanks for sharing your view. I can see that you also really care for others.
The information expressed in my post doesn’t come from my personal opinions or “assumptions,” but rather from God’s Word. For the Christian who believes that God is Creator of the world, reality is defined by what God says. God says in his Word that he made male and female, and that he knit us together in the womb.(Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13) God also set very specific roles for men and women within his design. (more info about that here>> http://www.bafbcgirlsmin.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/gender-matters/)
Our culture today says that we may define ourselves however we please or feel, and that to disagree with another’s view is “unloving”. Unfortunately, though, we don’t get to set our own definitions. God as Creator already has, and anything outside his design is of the darkness (Romans 1). He calls us to believe in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, to live in holiness and to obey his commands(Acts 16:31, 1 Peter 1:16, John 14:15). Jesus calls us to repent, deny ourselves and follow after him(Luke 5:32, 9:23). When Jesus showed his love for us, he did it in this way: by dying to save us from our sin. (1 John 3:16, Romans 5:8) His love is not to leave us in the darkness of sin, but in the same way he extended compassion to the woman in John 8, (who was living outside of God’s design for mankind) he tenderly calls us to himself, extends mercy and sends us to go and no longer live outside his design. (John 8:1-11) Unless one repents of sin and is saved, they are condemned and will face judgement after death (John 3:18, Revelation 20:11-15). The gospel, then, becomes the most loving thing we can share with others, just as Jesus did.
Thanks for engaging with me on this topic!
April 22, 2016 at 8:29 am
So you think Jesus would have said, so go ahead, forget about standing up for what’s right. Just let them feel loved. Lady you have some nerve telling young ladies not to stand up for decent values. This is exactly why this country is the way it is. Love with No Truth.
April 22, 2016 at 9:39 am
Hi Patti,
If you were to ask anyone who knows me, I am probably one of the most passionate people they know about standing up for the truth and not relenting. If anything, I have been chided for having too much truth without love. That being said, I do not believe I have compromised the truth or love in this issue. I hold my standards in line with what Scripture says, and encourage believers to as well. If by “Just let them feel loved.” you mean helping someone realize we are all sinners, completely broken and debased and headed for utter destruction, without hope in the world, but Jesus loved us so much he died to make us righteous before God, and only by believing in him we are saved, then yes, I want them to understand they are loved (although typically, our culture would argue holding that exclusive view of salvation is unloving). Out of our salvation in Christ comes forth right living, not vice versa.
With this post I am urging caution that as we stand up for our values. If we do it in an unkind way, or our main purpose becomes to merely modify the behavior of others to look like what Scripture says, but without sharing the gospel, we have missed the mark. Jesus, in his interaction with the Pharisees in Matthew 23, made it so clear that if the outside/behavior of something looks perfect, but the inside is still not right with God, it is woeful indeed. I believe we should stand up for what is right. I also believe we must not neglect the facts that 1. The world is broken and in darkness and therefore lives in such a way, and 2. We must not lose focus on sharing the gospel. When a person experiences a personal relationship with the Lord, that is when repentance, life change and right living happen.
As you stand up for God’s values, I encourage you to do so in a way that is “gracious, seasoned with salt.”(Colossians 4:5-6) Thanks for your comment!
April 21, 2016 at 7:48 pm
So well spoken and captures the bigger picture-Jesus being shared! What a great reminder amongst a world that’s filled with so many offenses, opinions and ultimately sufferings. Thank you for sharing!
April 21, 2016 at 8:58 pm
Thanks for your encouragement!
April 21, 2016 at 8:53 pm
“… we welcome transgender team members and guests to use the restroom or fitting room facility that corresponds with their gender identity.”
I realize this isn’t the primary focus of this post but it seems to be overlooked that this is how it has always been. What restrooms do you think they were using before now? We have all most likely used the restroom with transgender people and had no idea. All restrooms with multiple stalls are open to whomever wants to enter. Transgender people are not the problem. People out to harm others are the problem and they have always had access to both restrooms. I don’t see this “policy” changing my shopping or bathroom habits at all.
April 21, 2016 at 9:06 pm
Thanks for sharing your opinion! I understand where you’re coming from, and that is what I tried to convey with phrases such as “our sense of safety…”
April 22, 2016 at 12:33 am
Well written, and well thought out. This is the right way to handle the situation. I apologize for those looking to argue, but they are clearly ignoring the message in search of something to argue about. And you handle them with mercy, grace and truth. Keep up the good work, and God bless you as much as you have blessed others.
April 22, 2016 at 6:26 am
Thank you!
April 22, 2016 at 5:30 am
This blog is great. Thanks for doing this for our girls and reminding us of how we can apply God’s Word to these important issues. He has prepared us for these days and we must ask Him individually, how we should respond. We are challenged daily to love as He loves, without agreeing or condoning the behavior of others although it may appear that Target and like industries, encourage the behavior by accommodating for it. We are led to stand firm-understand, believe and operate in Truth. We can love without being “partakers with them” (Eph5:7-15), but “cleanse ourselves from all filthiest of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God (2Cor 7:1). We are commanded to stand firm and must decide for ourselves how that can be expressed with love. There are many stores to shop and in a busy industry, the only way they feel any consequence for their choices is in the profit margin. I pray that all who come across this blog will just stop and seek Jesus. His love for you fills every need and will greatly change your perspective.
April 22, 2016 at 6:29 am
I’m so grateful to be a part of the global conversation on how gospel-driven believers live out their calling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
April 22, 2016 at 5:32 am
Bethany,
Thank you so much for standing boldly for the Gospel. As I hear of more and more Christians who are separating themselves from engaging with the world, I wonder how many people will miss hearing the Gospel and witnessing His love because they chose that. What if Jesus said, “You know what, I am GOD, Holy and pure, and I am not going to engage with the lost world… No way… they don’t deserve it!” But He didnt! He CHOSE to ENGAGE with US… with the lepers, the lost, the castouts, the LEAST OF THESE. Thank you for your time in writing this Bethany, and all the Scripture references you placed. I agree with you completely and pray that this lost world comes to know Him through love and grace by those who too were once in darkness… including myself. ❤
April 22, 2016 at 6:33 am
Thank you for your encouragement!
April 22, 2016 at 7:29 am
Wow!! This article was well written. It has convicted me because I am guilty of ‘boycotting’ things in the past because they didn’t line up with my values as a believer (which just as you said, is fine if that’s how I want to exercise my freedom and rights) but my heart wasn’t softened toward the lost or compelled further to be a ‘city on a hill’ for the darkened and lost. This blog entry and your awesome use of Scriptural references was incredible and I appreciate your boldness to stand firm on the Word of God when so many are flexed and ready for a fight.
April 22, 2016 at 7:42 am
Let me say in return, Wow! Thanks for sharing your story here! I’m grateful to be a part of this conversation among believers. Glad it could be an encouragement to you!
April 22, 2016 at 8:04 am
Very well put. I think that, as you stated, the best (and safest) thing to do would be to not frequent the restrooms/dressing rooms at target stores.
Its scary, the world we live in today. God is in control, though!!!! Thanks for your perspective on this hot topic. This is one of the only things I’ve read concerning this that I actually agree with!
April 22, 2016 at 8:11 am
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I’m so glad God is in control 🙂
April 22, 2016 at 8:16 am
You’re comment is well written and mature and I agree with how rediculous it is to boycott Target, etc. I do have one question and another statement for others.
What exactly do you (really) think is going to happen in that very public bathroom? My generation (I’m 46) had already become hyper-aware of what some nut-job could do to our children if left unsupervised.
To others: It is not the job of any business to create a sense of morality or ethics or empathy. You get that at home. We are being distracted (constantly) from the real issue. Look in the mirror before you point the finger.
April 22, 2016 at 9:06 am
Hi Kelsey, thanks for your comment! My intent with this post was to encourage believers to consider the gospel as they respond to this issue, not to make a statement on safety issues. I was fully aware as I wrote this that we are vulnerable any time we are in a public restroom etc., not merely after a store changes its policies. That is what I hoped to convey with the phrase “our *sense* of safety.” Because reality is, our safety can be compromised in many ways. Thanks for sharing!
April 22, 2016 at 8:36 am
It never been a secret that Target is a liberal company, and it doesn’t surprise or shock me that they act the way that they do. The difference is that they are now becoming more vocal about it and taking a more active political stance that is contrary to my values and they are creating an unsafe situation. You see, Target already had a solution for their transgender customers and employees. Target’s dressing room is in the corner of their store between the men’s and women’s clothing areas. It’s always been a unisex dressing room. That’s okay because the doors offer privacy (locks, doors all the way down to the ground, and stalls that are tall enough that someone can’t look over them), and an employee is back there so that no one is alone for a predator to corner. As far as the bathroom situation, Target is one of the only retailers in their space that offers a men’s, women’s, and family restroom. Anyone uncomfortable using the men’s or women’s restroom could just use the family restroom. I use the family restroom when shopping alone with my son to make sure that he doesn’t have to go in the men’s restroom alone. Target chose to make a political statement to allow anyone to choose a bathroom or dressing room based on self-identification, which will now allow any predator to enter into the women’s restroom and spy on or corner a girl, teen, or woman. The bathroom stalls are not private. Anyone could look over or under the stalls as they are not self contained like the dressing rooms. As far as families skipping the restroom altogether or using the family restroom if they don’t like the decision like this article’s author suggests, that’s just crazy. Do you know know how many moms with little children shop at Target? Children have to go potty when they have to go. They can’t wait because they’ve been holding it long before they told a parent that they have to go, and everyone lining up for one single stall family restroom is not a realistic option. Retailers need to sell their products and stop making everything political. If they make things political instead of keeping their values and opinions to themselves, then it is my right as a Christian to not support (with my purchases/money) a company that openly supports causes that are contrary to God’s Word. Money does speak very loudly, so if we all stand together, they may reverse their bathroom decision and allow everyone (all of their customers) to have a safe area to use the restroom. It’s not about discrimination or hate, it’s about them creating an unsafe situation by allowing men in the restroom with women. Christians avoiding the restrooms and continuing to shop there will not enlighten Target to the truth. It’s not like Christians who continue shopping at Target are taking the time to share the Gospel or to pray with employees as they shop. Speaking their language of money might.
April 22, 2016 at 9:53 am
Thanks for your thoughts, Crystal! The fact of the matter is that any predator can currently disguise themselves and march into a bathroom unnoticed. They don’t typically abide by rules, anyway. In my post I hoped to encourage Christians as they respond to this issue, to respond in a gospel-driven way. If that means for someone with small children to take their business elsewhere, that is completely up to them, but I ask them to do it with graciousness. As Christians, our responses should reflect our leader, Jesus.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if Christians *did* take the time to share the gospel and pray with employees? I like that idea, and wish more people did that. But you’re right, it typically doesn’t happen that way.
I hope this post helps Christians to remember we should be faithfully sharing the gospel with all people. Chances are, we personally know people who work in Target, and every other store in America, who need to know the hope of life in Christ Jesus.
April 22, 2016 at 8:40 am
Oh dear. For the LOVE, we always retreat back to for the love. However as a mom with young kids I will not put their safety at risk just because I want to seem really loving. Nope.
The depravity of man knows no depth except when he or she is redeemed by a merciful Father. God help all writers who use their platform to encourage people to risk their safety simply do the LOVE.
April 22, 2016 at 10:04 am
Thanks for your comment, Cammy! I applaud you for not putting your kids’ safety at risk. I simply ask that as you respond to this issue, you do it in a gracious way that reflects the character of Christ. What is truly loving? Truly loving is understanding that the world is broken and darkened in understanding, that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the only thing that will bring light, life, and right living, and then sharing it, because we love as Christ has loved us.
April 22, 2016 at 9:13 am
Do you go to places like Hooters,Twin Peaks, bars like the one in Coyote Ugly or strip clubs ? Why or why not? Is this same kind of dark and light secular businesses acting like darkness that you talked about in your article? I am truly interested in your thoughts. I am trying to figure out my own.
April 22, 2016 at 2:02 pm
Thanks for asking this question, it’s allowed me to formulate a coherent thought for myself about why I do what I do!
When I choose what places I will frequent, I do base them off of my values/morals, but not necessarily the establishment’s values and morals. I enjoy shopping at places that benefit organizations or causes I believe in, but I understand this isn’t always an option. Consider foreign countries where Christianity is illegal. How will a Christian conduct their daily business if they have chosen to only purchase from people they perfectly agree with? It would be unheard of. I believe our country may be headed down a similar path.
That being said, I didn’t initially write this post to persuade Christians to boycott or not boycott Target etc, but to encourage them as they live out what the Lord leads them to decide, to do it in a God-honoring way. It is not a Christians vs. Target issue to me. It’s a Christians-should-present-themselves-in-a-godly-way, regardless-of what-any-business-or-person-does issue.
For me, I believe my life purpose is to bring glory to God. If a certain place is specifically designed to celebrate things I have chosen to abstain from, or will cause me to dwell on, look at or participate in things that do not bring God glory, I, personally, will choose not to frequent it. This even goes for areas within stores such as Target that offer products I feel do not bring glory to God. I just don’t spend my time there.
Even so, I have not and will not look down upon or degrade others who visit or run such places. I love them, and will share my views on the subject and the Scripture from which I base it with them as the opportunity arises. I’ll respect their opinions, too. It’s not for me to decide what they do with my convictions, it’s between them and God.
You will find polarized views on whether or not Christians should visit businesses like the ones you have mentioned. I have friends who have gone to witness to workers in strip clubs. (Which I am neither condemning nor condoning in this post, that’s not the point I am trying to make!) My encouragement to you is this: find out what God says in Scripture, engage with him in prayer and if the conclusion you come to is in line with Scripture, live it out!